Have I told you lately that I love you?

I have a big sister. (well physically she is smaller than me but she is older) her name is Kat and this is her blog  http://joseandkat.blogspot.com/
She is a missionary to Peru and mother to my two favorite little boys in the whole entire world!! I will admit, I didn't like it when she first told me that she was moving to Peru. It made me cry that I couldn't just stop by bring her a sonic coke and hang with her for hours while the boys brought me all of their toys and showed off their karate skills. Even now while typing this I am tearing up because my only sister couldn't be there when I had my first baby. (I had always wanted her there to hold my leg like I held hers for Logan's birth, payback or something:))
I am sad that I don't get to be there to watch my teddy bears open their presents on there ever increasing birthdays. They aren't my little babies anymore, they are "medium boys" who read and spell and get embarrassed around girls.

 I will admit it though, I didn't like it when she got married, I love my bro in law, he is an amazing guy who loves his family and was an excellent choice, but at that point in my mind,  he was taking away my sister from me. No more late night giggle fests or random trips to the mall together, she was married now and wouldn't have time for her little sister any more.

Like the time she went to Russia, I cried when she left and for the first few weeks, almost every night.
And the time before that when she was in Dallas for two months, I was beside myself when we were driving home from dropping her off.
 And the week she was gone when I was 12, I slept in her room the whole week cause I didn't want her gone. But you get the point. Were we always best friends? No. Did we used to fight? Like cats and dogs. I was the annoying little sister that got in the way and used her clothes without asking. She was the big sister that was too cool for me and just wanted to play with her friends without me tagging along.
I'll never forget the day when she came up to me and asked my forgiveness for not being more nice to me we were just kids but she hugged me tight and we cried together for what felt like an hour. From that point on we told each other everything. She was the one person I could go to about everything.

Sometimes I wish I could just walk into her room sit on her bed and talk over my day with her. I wish I could just call her up and meet up at Mcdonalds and talk about everything and nothing while our kids play together on the play place. But I can't. Because she is thousands of miles away.
 Changing the world.
If you haven't figured it out yet, I look up to my sister. I admire her deeply and love her so so much. She serves the Lord whole-heartedly and sacrificially. She has willingly given away everything she had to go pick up her cross and follow Christ in His calling for her life. She is wildly creative, very intelligent, an amazing mother and wonderful wife.
Selfishly, I miss my sister. I wish she were here to walk through life as grown ups together, but in my heart I know that she is right where she needs to be. Helping the people of Peru who need her more than I do. I love my big sister and pray I get to have her back here with me some day but in the mean time I pray for her and am comforted in knowing that my big sissy who changed my world is out there changing THE world. I love you Kathryn Lopez. You are amazing.

See what had happened was...

Sigh... Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to succeed. Wait that's not right... Well it sorta fits what I am about to blog and needed a clever opening line to GRAB the readers attention. Did it work? Oh yeah I guess since your still reading thus far it must have worked:) (insert satisfied grin)

So today's offering will be a jumbled mess of bullet point thoughts I have been churning about my little head as of late in no particular order starting with

• The reason our country is in the crappy financial state that it is in is banks suck at doing ANYTHING efficiently even when it is to their monetary advantage.
• Going on a low carb diet is not so easy when your trying to save money. Meat and veggies are the most expensive things to purchase while you can feed an entire family for 10 cents with Ramen Noodles (the worst thing you can possibly eat beside a fried stick of butter)
• When you get to the point where staying home with your baby is so important that your willing to hand over your wallet and keys to your spouse so you wont be tempted to spend money, that's when you know your a mommy:)
• I wish there was a button you could push that would make dishes and laundry magically wash dry and put themselves away. 
• When my neighbors let their child cry for hours on end and have very loud conversations in Spanish I'm really tempted to do one of three things. A. Call the cops B. Bang on the wall and C. Leave a note on the door saying something along the lines of "Dear annoying neighbors, while we LOVE hearing your child's incessant cry and your boisterous discussions regarding who didn't flush the toilet at all hours of the night, please bear in mind we share a wall with you and it would be nice to ya know; NOT HEAR YOUR CHILD'S CRY AND YOUR LOUD SPANISH EXCHANGES. Sincerely your tired neighbors."
• I am madly in love with my sweet husband. He is the best thing *besides my Heavenly Father* that has ever happened to me. He has made my life a true fairy tale and is the best husband and Father I could ever have imagined. He is so sweet with our baby girl and she adores him. You can see it in her eyes when she looks at him:). He is supportive, encouraging, strong, wise, brilliant, funny, SO sexy, a man full of integrity and character, he is fiercely loyal and incredibly loving. Not to mention he not only puts up with my silly weird sometimes off sense of humor but he actually loves me for it. One thing I always said I needed in a man. One who didn't love me despite my quirks, but loved me because of them. To find the person with whom *for the first time EVER in my life* I could be and was completely myself no holds barred nothing held back or "prettied up" was like living for the first time. To be all me was like breathing unfettered for the first time. :) Growing up every little girl imagines and dreams of her future "Knight in shining armor" but I got one better. He is not only everything I ever imagined but so much better, he literally came at the perfect time and saved me from myself. I adore my husband and pray that I can be the wife he deserves. Though to be perfect will be a bit of a challenge since I'm about as imperfect as they come;). I love that man and am thrilled that He is the one I have a family with, and He is the Father of my child and future children:) sigh..
• There are OH so many more random thoughts, but since it is ever so late and I have gotten my nightly writing fix, I will leave you with this one nugget of information;
• The title has absolutely nothing to do with this blog:)

My Hailey, your amazing just the way you are

I have a beautiful baby girl. She is the light of my life and the sweetest thing in my world. My Hailey has sweet blue eyes with long eye lashes, full lips (like her daddy) with the perfect cupids bow. A perfectly round fuzzy little head with chubby cheeks to add to her roundness. :) She has these precious rolls everywhere that make you just want to squeeze her. When she's in a playful mood she grins and scrunches up her cute little button nose (like me;)) and tries so hard to talk. Of course its usually "aboo" "Mguu" or "pbththpht".

My daughter is so adorable and people tell me so all the time after the question "whats that thing on her face?"
You see, Hailey has what is called a Hemangioma. It's a large puffy birthmark that is a deep burgundy color that is located behind her cheek on her neck and neck and earlobe. Dr's still don't know what causes them though they are so common that 1 in 100 children have them at or shortly after birth.
"Don't worry, I've heard they go away on their own" well meaning people usually reassure me after asking me for the fifth time something about her mark.
I know its very visible and most people don't mean any harm, though "is that thing still on her face?" or "what's with her ear?" aren't very couth ways to bring up the subject. I'm actually impressed when people meet her for the first time and coo about her cuteness without bringing up or asking me something about "that thing".

I know I sound a bit bitter but please don't get me wrong, I am not upset with anyone or even about her having it, my only concern is for her. If intelligent adults don't know better then to make rude remarks about my baby girl's appearance how much worse will it be for her when she is surrounded by KIDS? They can be so mean. (Though I must say my cousins 3 year old saying "uh oh! she got in the makeup!" was pretty cute;).
I pray that my angel is so independent and self confident that nothing anyone says will hurt her heart. I pray that she knows so well who she is in Christ that no one can make her feel like anything less than a breathtakingly beautiful princess.

I'm not sure how to instill confidence when that was never my strong suit, but with God's grace and wisdom I will do the best that I can to let her know that no matter what ANYONE says, "there could never be a more beautiful you"

And with that I dedicate this song to my Hailey

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She’s so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same

So don’t even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

2011 resolutions

Where was I? Oh yes, New Years Resolutions.
Number one, suppliment income
To have my wedding/glamor party business up and running
Number two, Pay off debt
Self explanatory:)
Number three, Get healthy lose 20 lbs
Very doable just have to commit and DO IT!!
Number four, Begin potty training Hailey once she has learned how to walk
Number five, Have faithful bible study time
Number six Join choir and use my love for singing for a purpose (to honor God and bless His people)
Number seven keep up this blog
Number eight Finish all projects from 2010:)
And that is only the first eight but lets work on these and WHEN *not if * I have completed most of them I will add a few more to the list;)
 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I had no idea it would be this hard...

It is officially 2011 and as is my yearly tradition I have been very introspective as of late.
I have a bunch on my mind and a few possibilities that are pretty exciting (if they happen)...
Number one is to find a way to suppliment our income. Thats where the curlers come in:). I am as of December 1st a lisenced hair stylist. I could go to work in a salon and hopefully make a decent living. But that is where the crib sheets come in. I am madly in love with being a mommy and had no flipping clue how hard it would be to leave my little angel in the care of someone else regardless of who they are. I love my in laws and know they ADORE the air she breaths but I still cried when leaving her overnight for the first time with them. It's one of those things that baffles me. I love kids and always have and knew I would adore my children, but  because of my laid back independant nature I figured I would be very nonchelant about raising kids. In some ways I am (I don't over sterilize our household to the surgery ready manner like most first time moms do), but I have shocked even myself by how much I worry about certain things.
For example; Hailey will be 4 months on the 13th and tonight is the first night she is sleeping in her own room. (judge me if you want to on either side but I am only just ready now).. I simply could not let her sleep in her own room for fear of SIDS, intruders etc. But I got to the point last night realizing that I was doing her no favors by keeping my poor 15 lbs child in her infant bassinet, and we were losing way too much sleep, so tonight we have instituited 'operation sleep schedule'. We had a nice big bottle, snuggle time and fuzzy warm pajamas and have the video monitor turned on (thank you Mimi and Poppy). So... maybe mommy and Daddy will get to sleep a little longer than 5 hours tonight:).

Hmm where was I going with that? Oh yes, it's so hard to think about leaving my munchkin. And I feel bad because we have a fabulous nanny lined up for her. She is a real treasure to have found and I want to help her out with hours etc but then I come back to the fact that I'm not gonna get to be the one observing Hailey's first steps and teaching her her fist words and it breaks my heart. Yes I know this coming from "Miss Independant" herself. So what to do? How does one take that first plunge into the working world? I have no idea. But we are in the process of building my wedding hair business so I can focus on that during the weekends and get to eventually be the one teaching Hailey all her new tricks:) I love being a mom and hope and pray I get to be the best one possible.

Ok so I completely missed the original point of this post.. I'll cover my New Years Resolutions in another post.

if you had thirty days to live...

It is indeed that time of year again, and as it happens every year I have become increasingly introspective. I'm not sure what it is about the shortening days, crispness in the air and Holiday jingles floating through the airwaves that brings me like clockwork back to this place of depth and contemplation but for some reason it always does.
This year I have been teleported mentally back to a time when I really truly lived my life for others. Don't get me wrong I certainly had my youthful selfishness from time to time but at that point in my life I cared most about God, His place in my life and serving others. We've come a long way from Graceland..
At that point if asked what my purpose in life was my unequivocal answer would always be
"To change the world" (a lofty goal for a Texas teen) I didn't know how I would do it or when, but it was my M.O.
Flash forward to today. I look back now and wonder what changed?
Let me preface the following statement with this disclaimer; I LOVE being married, and motherhood is a dream come true. My current life is wonderful but it is not all there is. We were all created for a bigger purpose, our own piece of the puzzle. And good or bad our actions (or lack there of) paint our portion of the picture. My desire was for my section to be colorful, vibrant and full of lives that I have impacted for the better.
But at what point did my path (change the world) get altered so much that it now looks more like "Get a job"?
Mediocrity is the greatest villain on the path to greatness.
Once again allow me to clarify here, I am not saying married parenthood is mediocrity, I am referring to the complacency of the day to day. Just getting by, making it through. I at one point lost sight of the bigger picture but all that is changing.
Having my Daughter and thinking about the future has relit a fire under my rear end to make the world a better place. She deserves a better world, but even bigger than her. My God deserves nothing less then our very best and I intend to be more than just a waste of perfectly good carbon. I want for my life to mean something.

So how do we get from point A. *talking about change* to point B. *Making things change*?
The answer is action. So let me ask you dear reader, if you were given thirty days to live, and unlimited resources what would you accomplish? You have two stipulations, 1. It must be for others and 2. You must be willing to do whatever it takes (within what is moral and legal) to accomplish said goal. How big can you dream? How much could one single person accomplish? What about in a year?  Now what if we mobilized thousands to do just that? With 1,000 people thinking outside the box and living for more than just themselves what all could we accomplish? How many millions of people's lives could we change for the better?
If start living for more then ourselves and changing the world one life at a time, then we just might change the world.

Don't ever call my kid a brat

disclaimer: I know I have been a parent for all of 10 weeks and I have a lot to learn but the following rant blog comes from so much more than the ten weeks I have under my belt of mommyhood. It comes from over 14 years of childcare( teaching, babysitting, sunday school, day care centers, nannying being an Aunt etc)
On with the show.
I complimented a woman on her daughter the other day. I commented on how cute and sweet she was. "Oh no, *she replied* she's a monster" Other replies I have heard recently are "he's rotten" "he's bad" "she's a brat"
I myself have used such adjectives to describe certain children, (he's spoiled rotten) etc,
However now that I have a little one of my own I am horrified to think of such names/descriptors being used for such precious little people. Ok perhaps when you are at the end of your rope, exhausted and tired of cleaning spilled juice off the floor for the tenth time that day I understand the temptation to describe your not so angelic little boy as such... but let me give you some food for thought.

What nicknames do you have that you love? My husband calls me sweetheart and baby (among many other loving handles). It endears me to him. I love hearing him call me; "honey? where is the tape?" Something so simple can put a smile on my face. Why? Because though it is an often mindless name used so habitually that it almost sounds weird to me to hear him use my real name, it is what he thinks of me. Honey; Sweet, enjoyable, pleasurable, something used to make bitter things easier to swallow. Baby; someone to cherish and protect, to hold close and nurture. Sweetheart; my heart is sweet and tender to him, worthy of honor.

Now what if he called me something else? Say, the B word. Or even merely 'woman'. "hey woman get me a coke" That denotes such disrespect and malice. The name's you use for someone can either give them value or devalue them. I guarantee if you were to call a woman a b!+@# they will act like one to you. But what if you call her angel? Or princess? It changes everything.

Here is my point. Don't ever call my child a brat, tell her she is rotten, spoiled, or bad.
She is beautiful, perfect, created in God's image, hand crafted by her Heavenly Father. I want her to know even now that she is not only a priceless treasure worthy of honor love and respect. But that no one has the right to hurt her, touch her in any unwanted manner, treat her badly or in any way make her feel like she is unworthy.

Parents, your children should always feel a little better about themselves when they go away from talking with you. Don't make them feel unwanted or unworthy by constantly pointing out every flaw and mistake. Love them, guide them, cherish them and this one is often left out, respect them. Don't punish them for lying to you and then turn around and lie (even teasingly) to them. Don't slap them for hitting others. Don't get in their face and yell for talking back to you. I believe in spanking yes but there is a difference in loving discipline for a purpose and just being a bully. Your child should never fear you or feel the need to hide their heart from you. We as parents must be a safe haven for our children. They should know that NO MATTER WHAT you will always love them and be their biggest cheer leader. Yes it would be hard to deal with a child that consciously and purposefully disobeys you but what are your actions teaching them? Is your kid a biter? Do you ever playfully chew on them? Is your kid acting out hitting and scratching others? Is he watching tv shows or playing video games with any kind of violence? ( i will expound on this in further blogs.. I have a theory about the link between games/shows/movies and behavior.)

Anyhow, I know this was a bit of a disorganized rant but it needed to be said.
Parents LOVE YOUR KIDS and treat them with dignity and respect!! and if you don't then stop having kids.  And that is how Kris C's it:D