Don't ever call my kid a brat

disclaimer: I know I have been a parent for all of 10 weeks and I have a lot to learn but the following rant blog comes from so much more than the ten weeks I have under my belt of mommyhood. It comes from over 14 years of childcare( teaching, babysitting, sunday school, day care centers, nannying being an Aunt etc)
On with the show.
I complimented a woman on her daughter the other day. I commented on how cute and sweet she was. "Oh no, *she replied* she's a monster" Other replies I have heard recently are "he's rotten" "he's bad" "she's a brat"
I myself have used such adjectives to describe certain children, (he's spoiled rotten) etc,
However now that I have a little one of my own I am horrified to think of such names/descriptors being used for such precious little people. Ok perhaps when you are at the end of your rope, exhausted and tired of cleaning spilled juice off the floor for the tenth time that day I understand the temptation to describe your not so angelic little boy as such... but let me give you some food for thought.

What nicknames do you have that you love? My husband calls me sweetheart and baby (among many other loving handles). It endears me to him. I love hearing him call me; "honey? where is the tape?" Something so simple can put a smile on my face. Why? Because though it is an often mindless name used so habitually that it almost sounds weird to me to hear him use my real name, it is what he thinks of me. Honey; Sweet, enjoyable, pleasurable, something used to make bitter things easier to swallow. Baby; someone to cherish and protect, to hold close and nurture. Sweetheart; my heart is sweet and tender to him, worthy of honor.

Now what if he called me something else? Say, the B word. Or even merely 'woman'. "hey woman get me a coke" That denotes such disrespect and malice. The name's you use for someone can either give them value or devalue them. I guarantee if you were to call a woman a b!+@# they will act like one to you. But what if you call her angel? Or princess? It changes everything.

Here is my point. Don't ever call my child a brat, tell her she is rotten, spoiled, or bad.
She is beautiful, perfect, created in God's image, hand crafted by her Heavenly Father. I want her to know even now that she is not only a priceless treasure worthy of honor love and respect. But that no one has the right to hurt her, touch her in any unwanted manner, treat her badly or in any way make her feel like she is unworthy.

Parents, your children should always feel a little better about themselves when they go away from talking with you. Don't make them feel unwanted or unworthy by constantly pointing out every flaw and mistake. Love them, guide them, cherish them and this one is often left out, respect them. Don't punish them for lying to you and then turn around and lie (even teasingly) to them. Don't slap them for hitting others. Don't get in their face and yell for talking back to you. I believe in spanking yes but there is a difference in loving discipline for a purpose and just being a bully. Your child should never fear you or feel the need to hide their heart from you. We as parents must be a safe haven for our children. They should know that NO MATTER WHAT you will always love them and be their biggest cheer leader. Yes it would be hard to deal with a child that consciously and purposefully disobeys you but what are your actions teaching them? Is your kid a biter? Do you ever playfully chew on them? Is your kid acting out hitting and scratching others? Is he watching tv shows or playing video games with any kind of violence? ( i will expound on this in further blogs.. I have a theory about the link between games/shows/movies and behavior.)

Anyhow, I know this was a bit of a disorganized rant but it needed to be said.
Parents LOVE YOUR KIDS and treat them with dignity and respect!! and if you don't then stop having kids.  And that is how Kris C's it:D