Skylar's super long birth story lots of pics and tmi details :)

My pregnancy began with a miracle:

I have always known I wanted multiple kids. I love kids and absolutely adore being a mommy. I’ve known I wanted to be a mommy since I was 12 year old. It was my calling and one I fulfilled with great joy.  The day I realized I was indeed pregnant I was singing in the praise team and I am sure I was singing louder and raising my hands higher than anyone in that entire sanctuary because I knew something only one other person in the world knew, I was going to have my second baby.

A couple weeks later my parents left for a cruise and that night my dad had a massive heart attack and was air lifted off the ship to the nearest hospital where they began emergency surgery to clear the blockage in his heart. While they were in the process of this surgery he had a second massive heart attack that in any other circumstance would have claimed his life but by the grace and mercy of God he was in the very best place at the perfect time and they literally save his life.  It was an unmitigated miracle.

I expected Skylar to come 3 weeks early just like her big sister did. Though my due date was August 13 I fully expected her sometime in late July. Well because of an ultrasound that pushed my due date forward by 10 full days I expected her more like mid July. When that came and went and August was nearing I already felt like I was overdue. But when my due date came and went, that feeling was compounded. Finally the eve of my 6^th day overdue came and I went to pick my mother in law up from the airport she came early to make sure I had someone to keep Hailey during “the big game”. I was feeling exhausted and crampy all day but I chalked it up to lack of sleep and being 4 weeks more pregnant than I ever had before.

 That night the whole family was in bed asleep but I lie in bed eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. I decided to take a little swim. I went outside peeled off my pajamas and waddled down the steps. The cool water felt amazing against my uncomfortably hot skin. August in Houston after all is unforgiving with its temperatures although this night was unseasonably cool ringing in at around 85. Unheard of for this time of year. I did a few slow squats and hip sways as I had been doing daily for the last four weeks quietly singing Bob Marleys "Don't worry about a thing..." when the reflection of the moon on the water caught my eye. I looked up at the perfectly still sky. It was insanely bright. There were a few pink clouds juxtaposed against a purplish night sky, the black shadows of tree branches gently swayed in the breeze while a chorus of crickets sang their praises to their Maker accompanied by bullfrogs as their rhythm section. Peace. Pure peace. My hands had been gliding in the cool water I absent-mindedly brought them to my large round belly. I felt this little person who I had carrying around for almost 10 moths now within me kick me in the rib. I quietly thanked God that she was actually still head down since we had flipped her for the fourth time into position 4 days before. My “body must just be shaped in such a way that (my)  babies like to go breech” my chiropractor had said.

It was then that every thought that had been weighing on my shoulders for the last several months, all the fears that had been hidden in the crevices of my heart all at once came crashing to the surface.  Lots and lots of what ifs began swirling almost audibly,  a hurricane of pain, and fear, stress, and grief  all came crashing in around me. PEACE that word halted it all. Silence.  Peace.  Then in the stillness the lyrics of a song came from deep within my heart and out of my mouth at first like a squeak.  “I know Who goes before me. I know Who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side. The One who reigns forever He is a friend of mine the God of angel armies is always by my side. And nothing formed against me shall stand. You hold the whole world in Your hands. I’m holding on to Your promises You are faithful (a little louder) You are faithful (still louder) You are faithful (over and over and over ) YOU ARE FAITHFUL.  (This time not a question any more but now it was my anthem, my battle cry. I know who goes before me I know Who stands behind the God of angel armies is always by my side the one who reigns forever He is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side. 
The fear, the grief, the what ifs all gone. I prayed. “Whatever you ask of me, I trust you. You are faithful. I give her to you. She is Yours. I love her and she is yours.”

It hadn’t occurred to me yet that I was afraid to give her to Him. What if He chose not to give her back? Such a heavy thought but it was the thing holding me back. I realized it was only because of Him that she existed. And whether here or in Heaven she was His anyways, and He would do a far better job of protecting her then I ever could. HE is creator, Healer, Father God. HE is love. I am a frail flawed human doing the very best I could and as pitiful as that sounds I would die for this child that I hadn't yet met and He loves her far more than I ever could. So I chose to trust.
 I went inside dried off did a few deep squats for good measure and crawled into bed.  A little over 4 hours later I was awoken by an intense contraction. It was long and sharp. I breathed through it re-positioned to try to get comfortable again and fell back asleep. Around 30 minutes later I had another one. This one was more intense then the first. I laid in bed eyes wide open wondering if this was yet again a round of practice labor. Several more came over the course of about 30 minutes. Annoyed I got up to do the routine to determine if this was really go time or not. I got and up walked around, drank some juice, had a bowl of cereal, tried different positions, then a bath and finally a glass of wine. This process took about an hour and they continued to come. (This was new). I crawled into bed around 4 am. Andrew shot up asking if I was ok I informed him he would be working from home today because I didn’t want to risk him going in and me going into labor and him missing his daughter’s birth! We snuggled and talked and made out for a while and during a particularly awesome kiss I was hit with a HARD long contraction. He gently rubbed my belly and reminded me to breath in a sweet comforting tone.  It was then that I realized this really could be the real de—Bam another one. It was about 5:45. I snuggled into Andrew and tried kissing him some more but kept getting interrupted but contractions and they were getting closer together. We began timing them. I got up to brush my teeth and we straightened up. I encouraged him to wake up his mom so she could start getting ready. All the while they were increasing in intensity and frequency. We called Cathy the Midwife around 630. They were about 3-5 minutes apart lasting around a minute. She asked if she should come now (she lived about 30 minutes away) I didn’t feel like she needed to but keep her phone on her and we would call when she did. 30 minutes later I was attempting to braid my hair cause I was determined to have pretty hair for this birth (I looked like a bloated Cruella Deville by the end of Hailey’s minus the white and definitely didn’t want that this time) but I was soon being doubled over with each contraction stopping to hit start on the contraction timer app and reminding myself to breath through them. They were now 2-3 minutes apart lasting over a minute. We called Cathy I texted Karlin (my friend/doula) and Ashley my other friend a last minute but welcomed addition to the birth team.  It was time to “hatch a bird” Andrew inflated the birth tub and began filling it with water, I had a glass of juice and a bowl of oatmeal while snuggling with Hailey.

 The reality that she was no longer going to be the baby hit me hard. Finally Martha was ready to go, Hailey gave me a kiss and hug she was excited to go see her Mimi and Poppy with no clue what she would come home to. Just as they were leaving the birth team began arriving. The order of which I am not sure, but the excitement in the room was palpable.  I feel like I should point a few things out. When I dreamed of and prayed for my perfect birth day I wanted it to be in the morning. And for it to start early enough that Andrew wouldn’t have to go in. I wanted it to be sunny and warm but not too hot. So I could labor in the pool if I so chose. I wanted soft natural lighting in the room I would deliver so we could get great shots because I WANTED good pictures of this day. Hailey’s birth the majority of the pictures I have are GRAPHIC and not pleasant to look at. I wanted something different this time around.  I wanted it to go fairly fast but not too fast that I wouldn’t be able to remember or enjoy the day.  (after 20+ hours of Hailey’s true labor and not making it past a 3 1/2 cm till almost 16 hours in,  anything less than 12 hours would seem like a true triumph). I did not want an I.V. and wanted her to be born in the water in the caul.

 (I should also point out I keep referring to Hailey’s birth since she is the only other birth I have experienced and all I really have to compare it too. )

When she got there after her sweet warm greeting and a little set up Cathy suggested we do a check to determine how far along things had come. At her arrival I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. This felt miraculous to me.  But she was sunny side up so we began some living room yoga, first the inversion (which felt amazing) then the Ribozzo technique (also felt amazing). 

Both were effective and she was now in perfect position. I hung out in the living room for a while. The warm sun and quiet excitement made me happy. I turned my worship music playlist on the TV and informed the team that I was hungry again. We discussed different food options, few options sounded appetizing but we decided on a pineapple smoothie. I sipped at it between contracting, doing stretches and pelvic tilts and finally kneeling in the middle of the floor just thanking God that this day had finally arrived. One of my very favorite worship songs came on “All I need is You, all I need is You Lord, is You Lord” I lifted my hands and sang along. 

The stage was set. This baby was to be born into an atmosphere of praise and worship.

It didn't take very long before I began to feel the urge to use vomit which is considered a sign that things are moving along nicely. Sure enough I was around a 7 (miracles!) far enough along to get into the tub. WOOHOO! (But not before Karlin jokingly told me I was too chatty and not contracting enough, I laughed just then a contraction hit me hard I groaned that it was her fault. She did my very favorite comfort measure as penance and pressed on my hips (counter pressure) . (God bless that woman I love her)

I waddled down the hall had 2 contractions on the way and got to the tub. The temp was checked and it was too hot. So I leaned on the tub as they cooled the water a bit. A few minutes later finally it was the correct temperature and after awkwardly entering (something like a potbelly pig attempting to enter an inflatable children’s pool I’m sure) my body absolutely melted into that water. It felt euphoric.

 I floated around a bit till I found my perfect spot, my arms draped over the side, my head resting on the wall holding on the the handles for leverage during contractions (from this point on I will refer to them as waves, because that is much faster to type). My large round belly enveloped by the warm water.

The bathroom was chosen because it was where I wanted to be due to the lighting and thankfully the tub fit perfectly in the open area of my bathroom but there wasn’t much room to navigate around the edges. This caused for a funny game of people tetris as they attempted to move in and out tending to my needs.  Karlin stayed by my side almost the entire time.

 The first few hours in the tub were filled with funny banter between me, Ashley, Karlin, occasionally Andrew Cathy and Connie (also a midwife and Cathy’s partner. I had specifically requested her because of her sweet calming demeanor and my comforting experience with her from Hailey’s birth)

We talked and joked about everything from Princess Kate’s obscenely small baby bump to Kim Kardashian’s baby’s unfortunate name to the ill-timed commercial that came on during one particularly intense wave “It’s a pain only a woman can understand” We all busted out laughing. The jokes and stories were sprinkled with waves, some more intense than others, often being punctuated by my impressive intestinal pyrotechnics. Jokes were made because an Easter candy bucket became my puke bucket. Ashley in her type A personality would never let me live that down. But hey it along with towels being pulled out of laundry baskets, a bra hanging on the door next to me, a movie cup with the cast of twilight my drinking glass all fit with my quirky personality. It was me. That is in part the beauty of home birth. It is whatever you want it to be. There are exceptions of course as things don’t always go exactly according to plans but for me on this particular day it was perfect.

After some time floating I was once again checked and was making great progress but due to an unevenly opening cervix it was suggested I do some lunges in the water. I KIND of did one and after the intensity of the wave that wracked my body as a direct result I said NOPE not gonna do those, hoping no one would realize I only did one I agreed to just change positions in the water. Any time I would move around, stand up, walk to the toilet etc my body would respond favorably with rewarding me with more contractions and more puking. At one point a possible pic line was suggested if I couldn’t keep fluid down, I promised to drink more often and so Ashley and Karlin’s liquid campaign began. I felt like they were sticking a straw in my mouth every 2 minutes but thanks to them I successfully avoided needing an I.V. Something I am extremely grateful for.  And call me weird if you want but I was ok with the puking. It was a distraction from the contractions. Besides, retching acts like 10 contractions in opening your cervix so who knows how long this day would have taken had it not been for that?;)

During my first pregnancy I had taken a hypnobirthing course but never finished the book. During this pregnancy I read the book cover to cover and practiced all of its principles. I also read Inna May Gaskin’s guide to childbirth. This was the number 1 best thing I could have done. I highly recommend it to any and everyone who will in any way be involved in childbirth. She talks about the mind body connection which is a major basis for hypnobirthing.  Your mind is far more powerful then you realize. Ever had a dream that was so real it brought you physical pleasure or physical pain? How about the physical affect stress has on you (stomach pain, ulcers, hair loss, weight loss or gain, heart problems etc) Did you know that stressful situations can actually stall your labor? It is documented. It is why animals seek seclusion when they birth their young. When they feel safe they will give birth. But I digress. I read about the importance of contractions and how their purpose is to open the cervix. If you fight them or tense your body during them you decrease their effectiveness. This became my mantra, any time I would have a wave and feel myself tensing or fighting it I would stick my tongue between my teeth and slowly breath in then vocalizing quietly as I exhaled. “relax your body, let it do its job.” I would often thank my body for working so well, telling myself “You are strong, this one is almost over, it can’t overtake you, because it is you.” Or “Thank you for this one, it is bringing my baby closer to me, don’t get between it and my baby just let it ride, breath” I had this mental image I held on to and if I found myself beginning to struggle I would visualized me sitting in the surf of a beautiful ocean a torrential storm on the horizon, the waves choppy and strong, and Skylar on a little boat. Each contraction was simply a wave which was bringing her closer to me. If I fought the waves they would crash into me with resistance and cause pain. If I welcomed them I would rock with them and be that much closer to meeting my baby for the first time. During one wave I started to fight it but Karlin’s sweet voice softly reminded me to think about my baby. So I did. As she rubbed my arm I pictured rubbing my lips on her fuzzy head, hearing her grunts and coos as I kissed her little nose, cradling her in my arms as her tiny fingers wrapping around mine forever wrapping herself around my heart settling into her permanent place there. Tears came to my eyes and a smile spread across my face as joy overtook me. I was so grateful. The next contraction came. Sure I felt it but my mind was so filled with this incredible image, my heart so full of gratitude I humbly thanked my Maker for this amazing breath taking gift. I thanked Him for allowing me to experience this and for my gift which I was allowed to have such a pivotal part in bringing about.

One thing I remember vividly was that any time I would stand up I would ask for Andrew to come and support me. Inevitably the waves that would come would be so intense I would lean a lot of my weight on him, his strong arms wrapping tightly around me holding me up when I could barely stand on my own. It was such a beautiful picture of our marriage. Of how he came into my life (but that’s a blog post for another day) He was my partner, my support system, my rock. The comfort I felt from his smell, his arms, and his whispered love was breath taking.  He would tell me in my ear how strong I was, how great I was doing, how proud of me he was, how beautiful and how much he loved me. It empowered me.

There were times during this day when I felt like a birthing goddess, strong, capable and powerful. There were times when I felt helpless, surrendering myself to my Almighty Creator Who without Him I was completely incapable of doing anything good. It was a glorious range of raw emotion that like a rainbow bordered by storm clouds is a wonder to behold. The intensity of the waves grew steadily. The mood changed from jovial to “go time”

 Besides hushed discussions in the other room, I could hear the sound of water being wrung out into a bowl by my sweet friend Karlin who was dutifully going back and forth between keeping cool clothes on my neck and forehead and gently caressing my arms, placing the straw in my mouth making sure I was indeed drinking, holding my puke bucket then wiping my mouth with a clean cool rag and whispering prayers over me and Skylar.  My other precious friend Ashley would offer me a sweet smile as she would take the bucket dump it and then wash it out. Bringing fresh sonic ice and feeding me spoon fulls.  It reminded me of Jesus washing His disciple’s feet, such true selfless love. It occurred to me that this was what I had been praying for. These are TRUE friends that I knew would be in my life for a long time. I love them both so very much and will be forever grateful for the support and love they showed me this day.

I was laying back in the water and struggling with trying to relax when the song “can you feel the mountains tremble can you hear the oceans roar, when old and young began to sing of Jesus Christ our risen Lord. OPEN UP YOUR GATES AND LET YOUR RIVERS FLOW LET YOUR STREETS RESOUND WITH SINGING.. SONGS THAT BRING YOUR HOPE AND SONGS THAT BRING YOUR JOY DANCERS WHO DANCE UPON INJUSTICE. I wrote it that way cause that’s how I always sing it. It really empowered me. Open up, release, trust, peace. Bam Contraction. I started to fight it then the song that was my anthem, my war cry filled my mind. I know who goes before me I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side.  The next song came on “All I need is you, all I need is you Lord, is You Lord…” tears were streaming down my face as I whispered up the thankful prayer that all I need was my God. He was faithful.

I finally decided that I was hot and wanted out of the tub. Andrew helped me out and I laid in bed with the heating pad.

 Within minutes things changed. The waves now felt like one big tsunami that came and came and came. One on top of the other, the pressure in my pelvis was intense. She was coming. My vocalizing became more insistent as I tried to moan louder hoping that it would offset the intensity, a final check was done and sure enough I was fully dilated and that head was right there. It was in that moment it occurred to me. My water had never broken. They asked me if I wanted to move back to the tub or stay there. I with the assistance of Cathy Andrew and Karlin waddled back to the tub. *How I did that I will never know.. cause walking with a head in your birth canal is like trying to walk with a bowling ball between your legs* I collapsed into the pool I could feel her as she was making her way down and out. The sensation was much stronger this time then it was with Hailey I reached down and could feel the bag bulging, Cathy excitedly told me that she was probably going to be born in the caul. Something I had mentioned wanting.
I pushed 3 times (although it felt like an eternity) I was later told it took all of maybe 5 minutes from when I got off the bed to baby out. While I was pushing I could hear Ashley and Karlin praying and feel Andrews arm around my shoulders. He was whispering sweet words of encouragement, empowering me to go on though at that point I was ready to stop.

 I don’t know if someone said this or I just realized it but the thought that “the faster you do this the faster its over” hit me, so I pushed hard.  Bam she was out and was pulled up out of the water,

 the bag peeled off of her and was quickly handed to me.  I sat back in the tub and hugged this amazing wrinkly perfect little thing to my chest kissing her head over and over. I looked down at her and said “Hi beautiful! I’m your mommy. You are so perfect I love you so much.”

The details of all that were said in the next hour fade together but it was absolutely euphoric. Holding my gorgeous baby girl whom I had longed to meet for so long, sitting next to my sweet husband surrounded by precious friends who had grown so dear and being checked and watched over by a woman whom I love and respect deeply, who has been a part of the pregnancies and births of both of my children.  She has been my confidant; counselor, my friend and the person who helped me have the births I wanted so dearly. If it hadn’t been for her my first birth would surely have ended in a c Section. Because she fought for me it didn’t, and as a result my second birth was the perfect water birth I always dreamed of.

I sat there for a good hour, nursing her, hugging and kissing her talking to her and the birth team, enjoying a sweet kiss from my dream man from time to time as well as a large refreshing sonic sprite. After the placenta was delivered and the cord had fully stopped pulsing it was clamped and Andrew cut the cord. I was ready to get out of the water so she was handed to Karlin who wrapped her in a towel as Andrew climbed over the tub to get to the bed.

 I was dried off and climbed into bed for the final once over.
The tub was drained and cleaned. Skylar got to know her Daddy while I rested for a bit and had a bite to eat.

She was then weighted measured, and checked up. Pictures were taken, hugs and words of encouragement exchanged, we were tucked in and I nursed some more.

I can’t say enough about how perfect and amazing this day was. The thing that was the poignant cherry on top was my dad came and stayed with me while Andrew went to go pick up some meds I needed for pain relief. He sat at the foot of my bed and held my baby girl. It was the first picture I ever took of her. This man who when I was only 6 weeks pregnant with her had 2 major heart attacks that by all medical accounts he should not have survived. But because of a miracle he was standing here 9 months later holding his newest grand baby.

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 I was lying in my bed eyes filled with tears and a heart filled with joy and gratitude.

I am honored and humbled and grateful that God chose me to be this child’s mother. She is seven months old now and is the happiest baby I have ever seen. She smiles ALL. THE. TIME.  at everyone. She is my radiant joyful, happy little song bird.

Skylar Nicole Cuevas born August 20 2013 at 1:44 pm.  8.03 oz 20 ¼ inches long.